@130story An eye for an eye makes everyone blind, they say. And an ear for an ear? I SAID, AN EYE FOR AN EYE MAKES EVERYONE BLIND, THEY SAY
@130story People used to laugh at my beer gut, calling it my 'spare tyre'. When I cut it off to fix my car, though, nobody laughed at all.
@130story I drank the serum. Everything was a blur, and when I came to I was covered in the blood of my victims. Don't drink Stella Artois.
@130story Embarrassed by his arms only being big enough to play the ukulele, Tim vowed to become the most fearsome of all the lizards.
@130story "Tell Jessica I love her," I spluttered through blood and soil, taken down by a German bullet. "Who's Jessica?" said my wife.
@130story We gathered round to watch Sue lay an egg. "She's crowning!" said Jim. "Do dogs actually lay eggs?" said Pete. Sue did a shit.
@130story You thought switching from second to first to third person would be easy, didn't I? He was wrong.
@130story "You've signed on the wrong bit" she said. Damn it. Fifth time. If this went on he'd get woozy from blood loss.