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PhilJackman


Stories
305

Player Active
11 Nov 17 - 22 Jan 21

Twitter
@PhilJackman

Trucking On! 250!

'I've taken out a loan Sharon.'
'Why's that?'
'Well, everyone is doing it.'
'And?'
'I'm thinking the government is borrowing so mouch money that they are bound to run out and then I'll lend it back to them.'
'You haven't thought this through have you Tom?'
#130story

The interest I'm getting on these savings is abysmal.
I know Tom, you might as well put it under the mattress.
I wouldn't be able to sleep then.
But you don't sleep well anyway.
Because I'm worrying about the low interest rate Sharon!
#130story

What was that?
What Sharon?
Something just went past the window Tom.
Oh, that was Kevin, next door's dog.
I haven't seen him for a while.
Yes, he's been in lock down as well.
Can you have dogs in your support bubble?
#130story

I haven’t seen Derek for a while Tom
I get the impression he’s lying low. I guess there’s nothing much to watch in the neighbourhood.
No, not with Holland and Barrett shut.
Even he couldn’t argue that his visits were essential, Sharon.
#130story

I met our new neighbours today.
Did you get any names?
Yes, Ron and Julie, they were just coming back from Costco.
Well, I hope they've got everything they need Tom.
They're certainly well provided with toilet rolls Sharon.
#130story

Anyway Sharon, looks like it's just you and me until the spring.
How come Tom?
Well, because of this new super strain.
Why, are you going to be a bigger pain than usual?
Straining every sinew, Sharon!
#130story

'I see some guy from UKIP is kicking off about the Vicar of Dibley taking the knee.'
'The Vicar of Dibley, Sharon?'
'It's just some TV comedy, Tom.'
'UKIP, Sharon?'
'You've got me there!'
#130story

Perhaps if we buy them an iron, they might take the hint.
No, gifts should be given freely.
What do you mean Sharon?
A gift with strings isn't a gift but a contract.
Like a puppet?
Did you get that from a cracker Tom?
#130story