masthead image - an open book

PhilJackman


Stories
265

Player Active
11 Nov 17 - 8 Aug 20

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@PhilJackman

Trucking On! 250!

Brush, paint, newspaper, dust sheets, that should be enough.
Sound like you're tapping into your creative side?
I'm just painting the garage floor, Tom.
Ah, OK.
Mind you don't step on it until its dry.
Would I see your creative side then Sharon?
You bet!
#130story

What's for tea?
I've no idea, what do you fancy?
I'm not sure.
That's not like you.
These are uncertain times, Sharon.
Oh Tom, there are bigger issues than your stomach!
#130story

Tom, the fascia boards under the front eves look rotten.
Well, you know those bits of wood I keep in the garage Sharon?
Yes.
The ones that you complain about every week
What about them?
Well that's what I'm going to mend the soffits with!
Finally, 20 years of waiting!
#130story

You know that woman from Holland and Barrett.
Yes Tom.
Does she have a name?
I presume so, why do you ask?
Well I had a little chat with her outside the shop Sharon.
Was Derek there?
No, but I guess he'll find out.
Yep, he has eyes everywhere!
#130story

'I'm stuck on 13 down Sharon.'
'Come on then.'
'Great Lakes Canadian province, 7 letters.'
'Ontario.'
'Yes that fits.'
'Of course it fits Tom, it's right!'
#130story

'You've formed a right opinion about Derek!'
'Well there's no smoke without fire.'
'Perhaps he has some genuine medical condition, Sharon'
'Nobody needs to be in Holland and Barrett that long Tom!'
'Unless he has her under surveillance!
#130story

'Is that Derek?'
'Neighbourhood watch Derek? Where Sharon?'
'Look, he's coming over to talk to us.'
'Whatever you do don't mention Holland and Barrett.'
'Don't worry I have some restraint Tom!'
'Yes, I forgot you are a model of moderation.'
#130story

Was that neighbourhood watch Derek you were speaking to?
Yes it was Sharon.
Did he mention the woman from Holland and Barrett?
No, not at all, why?
Sure you’re not covering for him Tom?
You’re getting suspicious, perhaps you should join the neighbourhood watch!’
#130story