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PhilJackman


Stories
141

Player Active
11 Nov 17 - 23 May 19

Twitter
@PhilJackman

Trucking On! 100!

‘That’s another snotty letter from the bank Sandra.’
‘I saw that, I thought you’d be pleased.’
‘Why is it always on a Saturday when they are shut?’
‘They’re lenders of money Tom, it’s never good news.’
‘Bank error in your favour?’
‘That's Monopoly Tom, not reality.’
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‘Nobody objects to anyone having a dog, Sandra, but when…’
‘Just stop Tom please. You’ve been banging on about that dog for days now.’
‘But he dug up my potatoes…’
‘I know, I was there, remember? Do you want him to say sorry?’
‘Would he?’
‘No Tom, he’s a dog!’
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‘Someone’s dug up my potatoes Sandra.’
‘That’ll be next door’s dog Kevin.’
‘A dog called Kevin?’
‘I know Tom, he’s a chocolate lab puppy.’
‘I didn’t know labradors liked to dig.’
‘I didn’t know they liked potatoes!’
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‘Are you mad at me Sandra?’
'How would you know?’
‘Abductive reasoning’
‘What?’
‘Finding the simplest, most likely explanation for a set of observations.’
‘Such as?’
‘Monosyllables and dinner in the bin.’
‘Wow Sherlock, your deductive powers know no bounds.’
‘Yes then!’
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‘Calm down Tom.’
‘It gets me so angry!’
‘I get the points you are making but the television can’t hear you, no matter how many times you shout.’
‘They’re lying to you Sandra, lying I tell you.’
‘When did you say you were going back to work?’
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‘I never knew such a thing existed.’
‘What’s that Tom?’
‘Only the pinnacle of human achievement in sandwich making Sandra.’
‘It’s an egg slicer, it’s been in the draw since we got married.’
‘Really? Just look at it though!
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‘Have you seen the election results Tom?’
‘Yes, it’s a shame. I so badly wanted that woman down the street to win.’
‘Did you vote for her?’
‘No, Sandra, something came up and I never got round to it.’
‘What, like washing your hair?’
‘Yes, something like that.’
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'How many days until the election Tom?'
'Which one Sandra?'
'There's more than one?
'Local, mayoral, European and possible general.'
'What!!!'
'You're starting to sound like Brenda from Bristol.'
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