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PhilJackman


Stories
326

Player Active
11 Nov 17 - 15 Apr 21

Twitter
@PhilJackman

Trucking On! 250!

'Do you know who this guy Spam is?'
'A guy?'
'Yes, he mails me all sorts of interesting offers every day. He even has his own folder.'
'Are you sure it’s a guy?'
'Could be a woman Sharon, perhaps I can check.'
'You do that Tom, it will keep you out of mischief.'
#130story

'What's all that racket?'
'I'm cleaning these seats for the garden Sharon.'
'Why what's happening?'
'We can now hold some smaller outdoor events such as fetes, literary fairs, and fairgrounds.'
'What have you got planned Tom?'
'Nothing yet, just the chairs.'
#130story

'What are you doing?'
'Looking for somes vessels for the yorkshire pudding mix.'
'Vessels Tom? What's wrong with a bowl?'
'I couldn't think of the word Sharon.'
'Blimey, that Nytol is strong stuff!'
#130story

‘You know what the lighter nights mean Sharon?’
‘Gardening?’
‘Yes, clammy damp soil in your fingernails!’
‘Oh really! Were you like this as a child Tom?’
‘I’ve always been delicate…’
#130story

'Well I'm glad that's over with.'
'Until the next shot Sharon.'
'Yes, but you worry about all the risks Tom.'
'What risks? You're more likely to get run over in town.'
'Ah, the mean streets of Morpeth!'
#130story

'I can't deceide what is worse Sharon.'
'What's that?'
'Having hair from the seventies or thinking it looks quite good!'
'I can tell you Tom.'
'Oh yeah?'
'Yes, when are the barbers opening again?'
#130story

'I see we're getting one of those freeports Sharon.'
'What's free about them?'
'They're free from taxes.'
'So who makes up the shortfall in tax Tom?'
'We do!'
'Well, they're not very free then!'
#130story

‘These Egyptian cotton T-shirts are really lovely.’
‘How do you know where the cotton comes from?’
‘It says so on the label Sharon.’
‘You shouldn’t believe everything you read Tom!’
#130story