masthead image - an open book

Objects

(3 stories)

‘Nobody objects to anyone having a dog, Sandra, but when…’
‘Just stop Tom please. You’ve been banging on about that dog for days now.’
‘But he dug up my potatoes…’
‘I know, I was there, remember? Do you want him to say sorry?’
‘Would he?’
‘No Tom, he’s a dog!’
#130story

#130story

I'm God's gift to women
Blokes also, if that's what they like
Riding down the road, naked, on a bike
I must warn you
I'm not one of those sexual objects
Up and down on a saddle.
Swinging left and right
You'll think you're lucky
Hand over eyes, and, out of sight

"I object m'lord"
"Why?"
"Jeremy Kyle said I was innocent"
"Lie detector test?"
"Yes
"Hahahahaha. 1st witness please"

#130story